Happy Thanksgiving

I have found that the perfect solution for avoiding the holiday blues and the heart ache that comes with missing loved ones who are here only in memory. Just do not celebrate holidays.

Don't worry, I am not advocating abolishing Thanksgiving. I am just rationalizing the fact that I am going to have my little Thanksgiving dinner with Sam and Harry before Sam rushes off to work. It could have been worse because until mid-day today, I thought I would be working also. A mad dash to the store (perilous in itself) and we are all set to have our favorites.

Unfortunately, I will only have two pies (for three people?), and two vegetable dishes instead of the plethora of choices I used to have celebrating with my mother's side of our family. As kids, for years we traveled to Cadiz, Ohio. I can still see the frosty covered hills and barren trees as we approached the area of southeastern Ohio known as coal country. Most of the drive was two lane roads twisting and turning around the hills which was always a challenge for my youngest sister Mary Beth, who was usually car sick most of the way and couldn't appreciate arriving to a house that smelled like turkey yummy heaven to the rest of us. Cadiz is famous for being the birthplace of Clark Gable. The town is small. My Aunt Dolly and Uncle John lived in town, and I don't think there were suburbs in Cadiz. There house was old and furnished in antiques. The view from the upstairs windows was pastoral, of rolling hills and the neighbors ponies. There were nooks and crannies with treasures galore. Aunt Dolly had a box of trinkets - the most amazing collection of probably every crackerjack toy made. I am talking about "cool" stuff before the company got cheap! And she had a cupboard in her kitchen stocked with toys and goodies to play with. Their living room was stuffed with comfortable furniture and for some reason, perhaps economic, there were several patterns of wall paper on the walls. This was a house that was comfortable, cluttered and homey. No House and Garden decor. Every turn had some wonderful thing to look at, play with, or even wear.

Uncle John was the bank president. But, in his retirement, he and Aunt Dolly collected antiques and Uncle John learned to cane chairs. We had dinner in the basement before moving upscale to the garage (decorated, heated and spotless with collections of glass antiques in the windows and art on the walls). The basement had hooks on the walls and a collection of caned wooden chairs so that when company came, there was seating. No folding metal chairs for us!! The dishes were matching china and all of the nieces have a plate or two now. I think the pattern is Blue Onion but I may be wrong. The glasses were mismatch and sometimes, in my clouded recollection, jelly jars, and my cousins and I would laugh at Aunt Dolly's frugality. After a day of food, playing with cousins, fresh air after feeding treats to the horses and sometimes, even taking side trips like visiting the Harrison Ohio "old folks home" that was run by my Great Aunt Norma, or seeing the world's largest excavating shovel, the Silver Spade, it would be time to leave. My three siblings and my parents and I would get cozy in our warm car driving home, singing Christmas carols and exclaiming over the first holiday decorations we would see. The stars always seems so bright on that ride home and getting out of that car, being sleepy and so content, and stepping into the cold night air and the end of another perfect holiday, was always so hard.

Today, Aunt Dolly's daughter, Jane, still hosts Thanksgiving at her home in Richmond, Ohio. Her mother's china will be on the table as well as pitchers, vases, candlesticks and many other family heirlooms to make the memories continue. The last year I was there, there were also photos of the loved ones we miss so much who gave us the gift of love of family and of laughter and joy. I will miss the company, the catching up and the requisite hike in the woods after dinner. Happy Thanksgiving to the best family in the world!!

The Legal System

I lived for over 55 years without having to deal with the courts. Except for my divorce from Doug, which cost us about $750 and we used the same lawyer and wrote our own agreement (I know, if we got along that well why did we divorce - another blog story), and fighting a traffic ticket which I won, I stayed pretty clear. But either my luck has changed or I got tired of getting pushed around, because I have filed my second small claims case and am also involved in suing people over a business contract.

My first small claims case was a bust. I wimped out. I used to do free lance graphic design work and my clients didn't pay me for some work. I filed the claim, and believe me, it is a hassle. I showed up for mediation. They brought their 6 year old. So, how tough could I be in front of a child? Was I going to say negatives about his parents? The case was set for a hearing. I was so upset that my eight year relationship with them had gotten to that point that I wrote them a letter - couldn't we please just settle on an amount and end the strife? They wrote back that they felt upset also and yes we could. We agreedon an amount. I dropped the case. They asked for a little more time to pay as times were tough. Guess what; it has been over two years and I never got paid. Suck-er!

The second case involve Harry and I and a couple that we met in the Keys. The husband bought Harry's plane and Harry spent a great deal of time helping him learn to fly it. They became friends. They wanted to purchase a hotel. Harry found them one in foreclosure, got the financing for them based on his track record and in exchange, they were to give us 5% ownership and since the property was near our home, we would supervise it. We worked like crazy getting the property running and switching management. I did their website, all documents, trained staff, and provided the couple with all of our vendors and our expertise. When I finally got to the lawyers office to sign the contract, it was a joke. They were going to pay me a management fee and I could be terminated at any time. No 5% as offered. We essentially set them up in business and then got dumped. I should have known when a few days earlier the wife changed all passwords on web hosting and locked me out from any access to any files that I had created for the business. I was furious. We worked hours and hours for this couple and the wife, who I had to deal with, was the most impossibly difficult woman I have ever met. She had staff quitting left and right and I had to pick up the pieces and sooth all egos. She was a control freak who changed her mind daily. I was beside myself after every phone call. The last straw for me was when I saw on their web site recently that she had even ordered our identical furniture - something I had found through research and working with a designer. I really never knew from first hand experience that in business, there are some horrible, cut-throat people but I got my lesson first hand. Our law suit has taken over a year so far, and in January, I will be deposed. This time, I won't wimp out.

Lastly, is my small claims case against a local hospital. I think I am just tired of being ripped off. I was scheduled for my yearly physical and every year, I have to have blood drawn to have my thyroid levels checked. In the past, the blood was drawn in the doctor's office and my insurance paid for the lab work. This time I had to go to the hospital as the office no longer drew blood. I went to the hospital and they couldn't find the paperwork. I went a second time and did the normal check-in process with admissions. Gave them my info and my insurance card. Had the work done. Then, I got the bill. Almost $1200 for the routine lab work. I hit the roof. My insurance carrier was not accepted by the hospital. Wait a minute. It is a sister hospital to the one where Sam had his tonsils out last year and they accepted our insurance. Dummy me for assuming that hospitals under the same umbrella ownership would bill the same. I wrote a letter to the hospital. No answer. I wrote a second letter. No answer. I called the billing dept. They told me that even employees do not get their blood drawn there - they have to go to a local lab. But that clerk could not direct me to a "higher up" to discuss the bill. Then I got the notice from a collection agency. So, I decided that if I cannot get their attention any other way, I will go to court. I filed the claim. It is a huge hassle. I had to find a process server to deliver the papers to their corporate office. I have a date scheduled. I am going to fight this and even if I lose and end up paying $500 more in court costs, at least I get to have my say because how hard was it for a clerk to tell me "we do not accept your insurance" and give me the option to find a facility that does. Informed consent? Bullshit.