Not Really Funny

I have recently decided that I am NOT a fan of practical jokes.  Some Karma in the air has forced two upon me in the past couple weeks and I just have to spout off my displeasure.

The first entailed a friend bringing her husband by the motel to say "hi" one day when she knew I would be working.  I had never met him.  I was "buzzed" to the office from another part of the property and charged up to the front door.  I greeted the gentleman standing there and asked if I could help him.  He asked if I rented rooms by the hour.  I responded, no, that we only rented nightly - all the while thinking of names for the man like "sleazeball, pervert, creepazoid" etc.  I wasn't taken aback, because, frankly, people do occasionally inquire of this form of rental but generally they rent the room and if they leave after a couple hours, hey, not my business.  The man was so persistent that I became flustered until I looked over at the woman standing off to the side and saw my friend.  Frankly, she didn't look so amused either but he thought it was a real hoot.

Today I had a guest walk into the office and announce that the masseuse that the desk clerk on duty last night had procured had not shown up.  OK, in my naive and Clorox addled head, I am thinking licensed physiotherapist and he was thinking backroom in Hong Kong.  After I apologized and fussed  trying to solve the dilemma because I thought the guest was really upset,  he burst out laughing at his own joke and my response.

And there was the epic practical joke last year that still makes me cringe.  My son's boss came to visit with Matt for a fishing trip and after dinner at a local joint and probably too many beers, the boss thought it would be so much fun to stiff the waitress he had been chatting up during dinner and pretend like we didn't leave a tip.  I protested heartily but he insisted and since he was paying the bill, and was my son's boss, what could I say.  I just hustled out of the way since I was embarrassed.  However, the waitress marched out of the restaurant to follow him where he was waiting while just beaming with pride over his cleverness.  She was not amused, nor was I.  I do have to say that he tipped her very generously, but I suppose she would have rather had less tip and more dignity.

Because, as I see it, a practical joke is funny only as long as someone is not used for the entertainment of others.  So, please, in the future, don't use me in your own little fantasies of funny, gentlemen.  Save it for your guy friends who somehow might think you are clever. 

Motel stories

I have people tell me that they enjoy hearing stories about the Sea Dell motel, so I thought I would entertain with the latest.  Harry received a call early in the AM last night from the Holiday Inn Express.  They are the only "chain" hotel in Marathon, where the Sea Dell is located and when they have overflow, they send them to us (nice compliment!).  Harry picks up the phone after hours when our staff has gone home, and we have a person who will go and do late night check-ins.  We cannot complain about the phone ringing in the middle of the night - because, as Harry says, "it's money calling."

However, last night the desk clerk at the Holiday Inn had a guest who was 57 years old with no credit card who wanted to use their mother's card number.  It is the Holiday Inn's strict policy to not use another person's credit card unless they can get the registration signed and faxed back by the card owner.  And this potential guest said his mother did not have a fax machine.  We also have that policy in place, but there are occasionally situations where we break that rule.  For example, we have had young people stranded with car problems and didn't have enough money to rent a room for the night and we will discuss with parents on the phone and approve a charge. 

Harry asked the clerk if the guest had a valid driver's license.  No, the guest's license was expired and he arrived on bicycle.  Harry then asked for the mother's phone number so that Harry could talk to her.  The clerk asked the guest for the phone number and then said in an absolute panic that she had to hang up, the man fell to the floor clutching his chest stating he had chest pains and that she thought he was having a heart attack and she had to call 911.

Harry called the clerk back after a half hour to check on how the man was.   The clerk informed Harry that when the EMS arrived, they knew the man, that he as a runaway from a halfway house and had "mental problems."  The poor clerk had been terrified.  The man was carted away.  Another day in the life of the motel business.