Watch Your Thoughts

I am a long time fan of police blotter news. The local paper for Chagrin Falls, Ohio that we used to subscribe to had a story one time about a police responding to a call regarding house plants that seemed to be changing locations at night in an office building lobby. I found this little gem of a story in the Marathon, Fl. newspaper.

"A Marathon man is under arrest for attacking another man with a large knife. The 50 year old victim told Deputy Bradford Colen that a 58 year old Florentino Arencibia rode up to him on his bicycle at about 2:10 PM last Friday. He said Arencibia said he was going to kill him, then took out a large knife and swung it at him, hitting him in the chest. The victim suffered a small cut on his chest, but did not want any medical attention.

Deputies found Arencibia nearby and questioned him about the incident. He repeated his threats about killing the victim. When they asked him why, he said it was because 'he stole my mind.' Arencibia as arrested and charged with aggravated battery. He was booked into jail."

Get Up, Stand Up

I won... sort of. I went to court for my small claims case against the "man" (Mariner's Hospital actually). I dreaded going. I hate to have to assert myself. I don't even like to do it on the phone let alone in a courtroom. I did get to go to a mediator which was much friendlier than standing in front of the local Judge Judy. I was organized and presented my case. The hospital agreed to zero my balance and I agreed to absorb court costs. So their bill for $1189 of lab work became essentially $300. I could have gone to trial for that $300, but I figured I did get a service, and I should pay something. What I did learn is that you better check exactly what your insurance covers before you have any procedure done. And, I did learn that emergency room visits are covered 100% minus your co-pay - no matter what hospital you go to and no matter what insurance you have. But scheduled procedures are a different story. So if they tell you that you need an x-ray, you better ask "am I covered."

Oh, and by the way, the judge down here has a ponytail.

Happy Thanksgiving

I have found that the perfect solution for avoiding the holiday blues and the heart ache that comes with missing loved ones who are here only in memory. Just do not celebrate holidays.

Don't worry, I am not advocating abolishing Thanksgiving. I am just rationalizing the fact that I am going to have my little Thanksgiving dinner with Sam and Harry before Sam rushes off to work. It could have been worse because until mid-day today, I thought I would be working also. A mad dash to the store (perilous in itself) and we are all set to have our favorites.

Unfortunately, I will only have two pies (for three people?), and two vegetable dishes instead of the plethora of choices I used to have celebrating with my mother's side of our family. As kids, for years we traveled to Cadiz, Ohio. I can still see the frosty covered hills and barren trees as we approached the area of southeastern Ohio known as coal country. Most of the drive was two lane roads twisting and turning around the hills which was always a challenge for my youngest sister Mary Beth, who was usually car sick most of the way and couldn't appreciate arriving to a house that smelled like turkey yummy heaven to the rest of us. Cadiz is famous for being the birthplace of Clark Gable. The town is small. My Aunt Dolly and Uncle John lived in town, and I don't think there were suburbs in Cadiz. There house was old and furnished in antiques. The view from the upstairs windows was pastoral, of rolling hills and the neighbors ponies. There were nooks and crannies with treasures galore. Aunt Dolly had a box of trinkets - the most amazing collection of probably every crackerjack toy made. I am talking about "cool" stuff before the company got cheap! And she had a cupboard in her kitchen stocked with toys and goodies to play with. Their living room was stuffed with comfortable furniture and for some reason, perhaps economic, there were several patterns of wall paper on the walls. This was a house that was comfortable, cluttered and homey. No House and Garden decor. Every turn had some wonderful thing to look at, play with, or even wear.

Uncle John was the bank president. But, in his retirement, he and Aunt Dolly collected antiques and Uncle John learned to cane chairs. We had dinner in the basement before moving upscale to the garage (decorated, heated and spotless with collections of glass antiques in the windows and art on the walls). The basement had hooks on the walls and a collection of caned wooden chairs so that when company came, there was seating. No folding metal chairs for us!! The dishes were matching china and all of the nieces have a plate or two now. I think the pattern is Blue Onion but I may be wrong. The glasses were mismatch and sometimes, in my clouded recollection, jelly jars, and my cousins and I would laugh at Aunt Dolly's frugality. After a day of food, playing with cousins, fresh air after feeding treats to the horses and sometimes, even taking side trips like visiting the Harrison Ohio "old folks home" that was run by my Great Aunt Norma, or seeing the world's largest excavating shovel, the Silver Spade, it would be time to leave. My three siblings and my parents and I would get cozy in our warm car driving home, singing Christmas carols and exclaiming over the first holiday decorations we would see. The stars always seems so bright on that ride home and getting out of that car, being sleepy and so content, and stepping into the cold night air and the end of another perfect holiday, was always so hard.

Today, Aunt Dolly's daughter, Jane, still hosts Thanksgiving at her home in Richmond, Ohio. Her mother's china will be on the table as well as pitchers, vases, candlesticks and many other family heirlooms to make the memories continue. The last year I was there, there were also photos of the loved ones we miss so much who gave us the gift of love of family and of laughter and joy. I will miss the company, the catching up and the requisite hike in the woods after dinner. Happy Thanksgiving to the best family in the world!!

The Legal System

I lived for over 55 years without having to deal with the courts. Except for my divorce from Doug, which cost us about $750 and we used the same lawyer and wrote our own agreement (I know, if we got along that well why did we divorce - another blog story), and fighting a traffic ticket which I won, I stayed pretty clear. But either my luck has changed or I got tired of getting pushed around, because I have filed my second small claims case and am also involved in suing people over a business contract.

My first small claims case was a bust. I wimped out. I used to do free lance graphic design work and my clients didn't pay me for some work. I filed the claim, and believe me, it is a hassle. I showed up for mediation. They brought their 6 year old. So, how tough could I be in front of a child? Was I going to say negatives about his parents? The case was set for a hearing. I was so upset that my eight year relationship with them had gotten to that point that I wrote them a letter - couldn't we please just settle on an amount and end the strife? They wrote back that they felt upset also and yes we could. We agreedon an amount. I dropped the case. They asked for a little more time to pay as times were tough. Guess what; it has been over two years and I never got paid. Suck-er!

The second case involve Harry and I and a couple that we met in the Keys. The husband bought Harry's plane and Harry spent a great deal of time helping him learn to fly it. They became friends. They wanted to purchase a hotel. Harry found them one in foreclosure, got the financing for them based on his track record and in exchange, they were to give us 5% ownership and since the property was near our home, we would supervise it. We worked like crazy getting the property running and switching management. I did their website, all documents, trained staff, and provided the couple with all of our vendors and our expertise. When I finally got to the lawyers office to sign the contract, it was a joke. They were going to pay me a management fee and I could be terminated at any time. No 5% as offered. We essentially set them up in business and then got dumped. I should have known when a few days earlier the wife changed all passwords on web hosting and locked me out from any access to any files that I had created for the business. I was furious. We worked hours and hours for this couple and the wife, who I had to deal with, was the most impossibly difficult woman I have ever met. She had staff quitting left and right and I had to pick up the pieces and sooth all egos. She was a control freak who changed her mind daily. I was beside myself after every phone call. The last straw for me was when I saw on their web site recently that she had even ordered our identical furniture - something I had found through research and working with a designer. I really never knew from first hand experience that in business, there are some horrible, cut-throat people but I got my lesson first hand. Our law suit has taken over a year so far, and in January, I will be deposed. This time, I won't wimp out.

Lastly, is my small claims case against a local hospital. I think I am just tired of being ripped off. I was scheduled for my yearly physical and every year, I have to have blood drawn to have my thyroid levels checked. In the past, the blood was drawn in the doctor's office and my insurance paid for the lab work. This time I had to go to the hospital as the office no longer drew blood. I went to the hospital and they couldn't find the paperwork. I went a second time and did the normal check-in process with admissions. Gave them my info and my insurance card. Had the work done. Then, I got the bill. Almost $1200 for the routine lab work. I hit the roof. My insurance carrier was not accepted by the hospital. Wait a minute. It is a sister hospital to the one where Sam had his tonsils out last year and they accepted our insurance. Dummy me for assuming that hospitals under the same umbrella ownership would bill the same. I wrote a letter to the hospital. No answer. I wrote a second letter. No answer. I called the billing dept. They told me that even employees do not get their blood drawn there - they have to go to a local lab. But that clerk could not direct me to a "higher up" to discuss the bill. Then I got the notice from a collection agency. So, I decided that if I cannot get their attention any other way, I will go to court. I filed the claim. It is a huge hassle. I had to find a process server to deliver the papers to their corporate office. I have a date scheduled. I am going to fight this and even if I lose and end up paying $500 more in court costs, at least I get to have my say because how hard was it for a clerk to tell me "we do not accept your insurance" and give me the option to find a facility that does. Informed consent? Bullshit.

Peek-a-Boo

Our desk clerk, Carol, had an interesting encounter today. A husband and wife pulled up and the husband came into the motel office to book a room for three nights. During the process, he commented on the fact that he could, of course, swim sans suit? Carol explained that no, our motel is family oriented and she in fact did not know of any place, other than a nude beach in Key West, that allowed nude swimming. She explained that there might be hotels there that allowed nude swimming in their pools, but we didn't know which ones, and since it is Fantasy Fest, the rates would be exorbitant. The potential guest was indignant! He drawled in his good ole boy southern accent (he wasn't even European!) - "you mean my wife can't even go topless?" Carol politely explained no, sorry. The man decided to leave and seek a more liberal establishment. But, not before Carol saw his true nature - peeking out from the hem of the shortest shorts imaginable.

Let It Be

For the past 11 months, since Harry's beloved father passed away, I have lived with the ensuing (maybe that is en-sue-ing) family drama that has unfolded. I feel sometimes as though I could just scream and often, Guinness gets an extra long walk with me half-dragging him home.

I just cannot get it through my head how a family can crumble in one year. All over money, really. I have tried to weigh each sides viewpoints. My father-in-laws accountant put it most succinctly; that Harry's sister, who is the trustee and the source of all of the angst, has done what in her mind is legally right, but has not done what is right for the family. When you shut down and become secretive, you spread the seeds that will grow into suspicion and mistrust. When you fire your cousins who have worked for your father for over 30 years, and you sue your remaining uncle who was your father's lifetime business partner and best friend, and cannot explain your actions, you create a rift as large as the San Andreas Fault. And what happens when that uncle dies suddenly during this past year? The last year of his life is tainted with a family rift that could have never been expected. Harry's father was a lovely man, and the pain that I feel is that he would have been so deeply hurt by the way this year has unfolded. He expected the highest ethics from people, but I think he also believed that ethics without humanity are wasted.

Thank you my sister, Mary Beth, for doing the job of executor for our parents estate for no compensation other than a set of Christmas dishes that we gave you. Even if the estate had been of the magnitude as Harry's father, I believe you would have done the job the same way. How did I get so lucky, to have such loving, sane, ethical, caring siblings??

My Morning Caffeine

I don't really drink coffee but when I go to work, the one thing that will pick me up quickly are the notes that our night staffer, Alex, leaves me on the counter. He calls Harry and I the Count and Countess of the Dell and calls the property Camp Dell Tikinawa. Alex is one of a kind. He is middle aged, nice looking with distinguished-looking greying hair. Before a bout of cancer, he lived in NYC working on sets and costumes in the theater. After his illness, he came to Marathon to care for his mother who was ill, and stayed on. He is an artist, a writer, and self-educated without a formal college degree. He created 25 room number plaques for us and we love his art. He speaks with a slight British affected accent to accompany his love of literature. His favorite childhood author was Jane Austen. He had a British grandmother who exposed him to culture and he grew up in Argentina because his father ran away to that country and married a local woman and brought his family back every year to summer in the Keys. Alex's past was harsh. His father was abusive. He is one of the walking wounded. He cringes if you enter his personal space. He is intelligent and quick but in my opinion, the damaged parts of his soul prevent him from functioning to the best of his abilities. He is wonderful with guests, fastidious about how the rooms look and a terrific host. But, with Alex, there are often more dramas and dilemmas and interpersonal issues than with any other staff member. He has a dark side and a haughty arrogance and a prejudice that he seems to wrestle with in his Catholic conscience.

Even though his moods are unpredictable, one thing I can count on without fail are his notes, cheering me up. I have decided to share a few.

"I will be most of the afternoon at The Marathon Community Health Center (which I call "The People's Clinic"). I am certain it is God's way of punishing me & teaching me humility by making me spend an afternoon in a waiting room engulfed by "those" people. Was ear plugs, large, cheap but tasteful sunglasses, ad double dosage of high blood pressure medication and some passionate Scottish poetry. I think that will be the best way to go. The best way to endure a good sized room swarming with the most frightening specimens of humanity. Of course I must inform the nurse when I check in that my ears will be plugged to block out those heinous sounds, so that when my turn comes they can come and get me. I'm sure I will be easy to find. The only twit in the room with a purse and a book! (Well, let's face it, the only twit in the room). Wouldn't you think???

If I am early enough, I shall stop for a moment for a dash of puppy love. I shall be in terrible need after that dental ordeal. Instead of a new second-hand book, my usual self treat after surviving something hideous, I think I will opt for a package of Ash Medium Brown Hair Color from Just for Men. I feel so utterly decrepit these days. And its on sale at CVS. A touch of youth in a bottle for just $6.95. Like my old friend Rose Silverman used to say to me "Dahlink, you're foolish to walk away from that!"

And another...

"I am also a big softy for any one's suffering. Anyone. Like that woman the other night, the one I let stay at the pool for a while. Her vulgarity made me bristle as she looked like she should have been peddling her papayas somewhere in old Times Square. yet she was in reality a poor frightened older woman in trouble. She had stayed with us in #6 for too many days and had enjoyed herself immensely. I remember she once came to the office at 2 in the morning, her eyes blood shot with beer, reeking of a wet ashtray, her blubbery pear shaped body clad in a teenager's bikini bra and panties. (I am looking for the right support group to help me deal with that vision!!!) She had locked herself out and could she please have a key??? Of course, I just had to ask why she was outside in her underwear in the first place and she told me she sat there in the evenings like that to smoke. After I recovered from this perfectly natural explanation I very gently reminded her that this was a family place and not a flop house and could she at least be dressed when she sat outside to smoke. Poor old thing, she liked me so much that she ran like a child to change and then came back to the office to model and equally vulgar bit of attire but at least it was not lingerie!

Is it just me, or is there charm in these writings. I love them! I start my day with a smile. Thank you Alex for all the delights that you bring to us.