Grey Christmases

The title "Grey Christmases" does not refer to the weather in Northeastern Ohio where I grew up, but to my mother's family, the Greys, with whom I have spent every Christmas Day save three that I recall: when I was 18 and left home alone with a stomach virus, when I brought my youngest son Sammy home from the hospital and last year when I was a martyr and worked.

The Greys are Welsh and loud and fun. I grew up with a number of cousins my age and we have remained close and loving. Our parents, aunts and uncles all had beautiful dark red hair and none of us sports that particular shade, although there are a few strawberry blonds in the mix.

Several years ago, my Aunt Betty (my mother's twin sister) received, from her brother Ted, a special gift on Thanksgiving. It was a potato from his garden, that looked like a turkey. We got many laughs from the gift. At Christmas, it showed up in our White Elephant gift exchange dressed as above, the Christmas potato. My 50th birthday fell near Easter that year, and sure enough, my cousin Mary gifted it to me, dressed as the Easter Bunny. And, then, the next Christmas, it made it's final appearance in the White Elephant gift exchange again, this time as an angel. It was so desiccated and scary looking by that time, it needed to retire to heaven. Recalling the potato this Christmas, we did have some memory of it wearing a bikini, and perhaps it did make an appearance at the annual Beach Haven, New Jersey cousin's shore vacation.

The White Elephant gift exchange was started by my mother. It was a bit of a hard sell that first year, but quickly caught on and has been an annual event for perhaps 25 or more years. The idea is to find your best white elephant and put it in the exchange. Each participant draws a number with #1 being the best because after all gifts are opened, #1 can steal any other gift and the event ends. Stealing gifts is a big part of the fun. When it is your turn, you can take someone elses gift and they in turn can steal or open a new present. This year, the premier fought after items were a skunk fur cap with a moving tail and a Poo-pet (don't ask). Over the years, there have been items that reappear ever so often, like the gi-normous underpants, the size 50DDDDDDDDDD bra that Aunt Mary obtained when she worked in foundations in Stone & Thomas Dept. store, a muumuu that my husband modeled, a used and happily discarded maternity bathing suit, adult size footed pjs, and many more silly items. Some choice antiques and collectibles have also appeared and then the stealing gets serious! I am reminded, with some guilt, that I put my great grandfather's large oval framed picture in the exchange after being designated its recipient when my Aunt Betty died. But you would have to see his face to understand. Frightening! I know Aunt Betty would forgive me; she loved her nieces and nephews that much.

With 20 to 30 persons in one room, hooting and hollering, the din gets quite significant. Being a new member of this family must be daunting. Aunt Betty, who was left the matriarch after her siblings were gone, would put people "on probation" if they misbehaved, or even if they didn't and she was feeling ornry (which was often). One family member by marriage in particular was constantly on probation and there was even a protest one year with placards being carried through the living room saying "FREE STEVE."

When Christmas Day is coming to an end, when my sister Mary Beth's mulled wine is consumed, when we have finished appetizers and dinner and cookies and always sundaes with chocolate sauce made from Aunt Dolly's recipe, I feel the incredible holiday warmth and glow that comes after a day of catching up with loved ones. Grey Christmases are not gloomy at all.

I Married This Guy!

In case you didn't notice, the lens in the right side of Harry's glasses is half gone. Why this is significant is not because it is to correct his new cataract-free vision, but because he walked in this way after grinding his glasses to create a solution for his new adjusted eyesight. When the cartoon character Jessica in Who Framed Roger Rabbit was asked why she married Roger, she said "because he makes me laugh." I am Jessica (sans the looks).

My kids believe I married Harry because he adds excitement to my life and I have to admit, honestly, that I am a restless soul and so he does fill the bill. When I first met him, for our first date he picked me up in a car that had oil well equipment on the back seat, because he was drilling wells in Ohio. That did seem a bit out of the ordinary to me. When I first saw his house, I was amazed at the project he undertook. Not a simple remodel. He built most of our first house, which included an indoor swimming pool and pottery room for hobbies. The pottery room was an example of his creative mind. He found the kiln and equipment at a garage sale, and the classes and room followed. He saw a parrot and the next thing I knew, we owned macaws and parrots and even bred them. The cage was a spectacular open air affair that of course, he built. He wanted to fly. Well, he learned and we did. He had a series of different planes and there were a series of trips that ensued. The experiences are fairly endless, and I could go on and on, but the point is, this is a very interesting man who NEVER sees something as impossible. I just go along for the ride.

He has continued to be one of the most interesting, exciting, funny, impulsive, entertaining and annoying people I have ever met. He is generous and kind which counteracts his bluntness and sometimes rudeness. If he likes you, then you will benefit because he has helped many people; whether it is to get a start in a business, a job or just a helping hand. The Masons invited him to a meeting and later to join their organization after he was observed helping a fellow shopper deal with a difficult load in a Home Depot shopping lot. He talks to everyone. Someone once said he probably talks to statues in the park. He makes people laugh, or he offends them. Depends on the recipient and their willingness to engage with a stranger in banter or political views. He makes connections wherever he goes. And, he is unbelievable bright. Not just intelligence, but in a very creative way. I think of him as a small scale Donald Trump with better hair.

What would the last 25 years of my life have been like without Harry? Well, I am sure it would have been a smoother path to travel. There have definitely been some potholes along the way, and some have been pretty deep. But I would have missed the slow climb up the roller coaster and then the wild free fall down at breakneck speed. That adrenaline rush has made it, in the words of my father-in-law, quite a ride!

Watch Your Thoughts

I am a long time fan of police blotter news. The local paper for Chagrin Falls, Ohio that we used to subscribe to had a story one time about a police responding to a call regarding house plants that seemed to be changing locations at night in an office building lobby. I found this little gem of a story in the Marathon, Fl. newspaper.

"A Marathon man is under arrest for attacking another man with a large knife. The 50 year old victim told Deputy Bradford Colen that a 58 year old Florentino Arencibia rode up to him on his bicycle at about 2:10 PM last Friday. He said Arencibia said he was going to kill him, then took out a large knife and swung it at him, hitting him in the chest. The victim suffered a small cut on his chest, but did not want any medical attention.

Deputies found Arencibia nearby and questioned him about the incident. He repeated his threats about killing the victim. When they asked him why, he said it was because 'he stole my mind.' Arencibia as arrested and charged with aggravated battery. He was booked into jail."

Get Up, Stand Up

I won... sort of. I went to court for my small claims case against the "man" (Mariner's Hospital actually). I dreaded going. I hate to have to assert myself. I don't even like to do it on the phone let alone in a courtroom. I did get to go to a mediator which was much friendlier than standing in front of the local Judge Judy. I was organized and presented my case. The hospital agreed to zero my balance and I agreed to absorb court costs. So their bill for $1189 of lab work became essentially $300. I could have gone to trial for that $300, but I figured I did get a service, and I should pay something. What I did learn is that you better check exactly what your insurance covers before you have any procedure done. And, I did learn that emergency room visits are covered 100% minus your co-pay - no matter what hospital you go to and no matter what insurance you have. But scheduled procedures are a different story. So if they tell you that you need an x-ray, you better ask "am I covered."

Oh, and by the way, the judge down here has a ponytail.