Grey Christmases

The title "Grey Christmases" does not refer to the weather in Northeastern Ohio where I grew up, but to my mother's family, the Greys, with whom I have spent every Christmas Day save three that I recall: when I was 18 and left home alone with a stomach virus, when I brought my youngest son Sammy home from the hospital and last year when I was a martyr and worked.

The Greys are Welsh and loud and fun. I grew up with a number of cousins my age and we have remained close and loving. Our parents, aunts and uncles all had beautiful dark red hair and none of us sports that particular shade, although there are a few strawberry blonds in the mix.

Several years ago, my Aunt Betty (my mother's twin sister) received, from her brother Ted, a special gift on Thanksgiving. It was a potato from his garden, that looked like a turkey. We got many laughs from the gift. At Christmas, it showed up in our White Elephant gift exchange dressed as above, the Christmas potato. My 50th birthday fell near Easter that year, and sure enough, my cousin Mary gifted it to me, dressed as the Easter Bunny. And, then, the next Christmas, it made it's final appearance in the White Elephant gift exchange again, this time as an angel. It was so desiccated and scary looking by that time, it needed to retire to heaven. Recalling the potato this Christmas, we did have some memory of it wearing a bikini, and perhaps it did make an appearance at the annual Beach Haven, New Jersey cousin's shore vacation.

The White Elephant gift exchange was started by my mother. It was a bit of a hard sell that first year, but quickly caught on and has been an annual event for perhaps 25 or more years. The idea is to find your best white elephant and put it in the exchange. Each participant draws a number with #1 being the best because after all gifts are opened, #1 can steal any other gift and the event ends. Stealing gifts is a big part of the fun. When it is your turn, you can take someone elses gift and they in turn can steal or open a new present. This year, the premier fought after items were a skunk fur cap with a moving tail and a Poo-pet (don't ask). Over the years, there have been items that reappear ever so often, like the gi-normous underpants, the size 50DDDDDDDDDD bra that Aunt Mary obtained when she worked in foundations in Stone & Thomas Dept. store, a muumuu that my husband modeled, a used and happily discarded maternity bathing suit, adult size footed pjs, and many more silly items. Some choice antiques and collectibles have also appeared and then the stealing gets serious! I am reminded, with some guilt, that I put my great grandfather's large oval framed picture in the exchange after being designated its recipient when my Aunt Betty died. But you would have to see his face to understand. Frightening! I know Aunt Betty would forgive me; she loved her nieces and nephews that much.

With 20 to 30 persons in one room, hooting and hollering, the din gets quite significant. Being a new member of this family must be daunting. Aunt Betty, who was left the matriarch after her siblings were gone, would put people "on probation" if they misbehaved, or even if they didn't and she was feeling ornry (which was often). One family member by marriage in particular was constantly on probation and there was even a protest one year with placards being carried through the living room saying "FREE STEVE."

When Christmas Day is coming to an end, when my sister Mary Beth's mulled wine is consumed, when we have finished appetizers and dinner and cookies and always sundaes with chocolate sauce made from Aunt Dolly's recipe, I feel the incredible holiday warmth and glow that comes after a day of catching up with loved ones. Grey Christmases are not gloomy at all.