My brother-in-law, Fritz Kramer, died unexpectedly following back surgery on August 28, 2013. He has been a part of our family for about 50 years, so indeed, he is our brother.
Fritz met my sister in college at Miami University and they had what is known as a "Miami Merger". They eloped before graduation because of my parents lack of support of their idea of marrying right after college and of course, that didn't start the relationship off well with my parents. Or so I was told by Fritz who loved to tell a story and could, as such, manipulate the facts a bit to make it more interesting. My memory was that he was accepted very quickly into the clan and was not the black sheep with my folks as he sometimes liked to suggest. And to prove my parents wrong, my sister and Fritz celebrated 48 years of marriage this past June.
Being five years younger, I was the beneficiary of suddenly having a very cool brother-in-law and sister who, after Fritz finished grad school at the University of Wisconsin, worked for the Federal Government in Washington, DC. How exciting it was to go to DC at a time when protesters were marching against the Vietnam War ala scenes from Forrest Gump (and Fritz would have to drive past marchers slipping down in his car seat to hide his Army Reserves uniform on Reserve weekends which kept him out of the war mess.) I remember staying in their urban apartment with the sounds of city life coming in the windows which was a far cry from suburbia in Youngstown, Ohio. And subsequently, many visits over the years in their wonderful, old, charming Sears house (homes bought from a Sears catalogue and shipped all inclusive right to the building sight) in the NW area of DC - streets lined with shade trees, brick Georgian homes interspersed with homes with front porches, like theirs. A wonderful neighborhood just around the corner from every imaginable ethnic eatery and hip storefront.
Fritz was a consummate host. He was a great conversationalist - a great listener and a great talker. He could amuse and entertain with his intellect, knowledge and great sense of humor. He was very well read. He was witty. He could tell a great story. I am not sure the facts were always accurate but who cared - the entertainment factor was huge. He was never in a hurry and he was generous with his time and with his hospitality. He created nicknames for people. He named our home in Florida "Manatee Insanity."
He liked you or he did not, and if he didn't, my impression was that he didn't feel one iota of guilt about it, or for that matter, about anything. At least he didn't wring his hands over things like the rest of us - he lived a righteous life and didn't need to explain himself. In fact, I don't know too many people who were so comfortable in their own skin, who had such a good self esteem and really didn't worry about what everyone else thought. He just assumed they liked him - why wouldn't they!
But the best thing to me about Fritz was that he was interesting. My recollections of him are of the numerous obsessions he had and how they would totally take over his life. You could NOT ignore them. He would put them in your face, talk about them, show you them and somehow get you involved in them! There was a long affair with Pee Wee Herman. He knew all episodes of Pee Wee's Playhouse, could imitate Pee Wee down to the physical mannerisms and drove us crazy with all things Pee Wee. I also remember a Texas phase which included owning many pairs of cowboy boots, and a passion for the movie Tombstone. He could quote Doc Holiday and I cannot tell you how many times I viewed that movie with him. And that led to a large antique gun collection. There was also the Hess Truck passion and collection. Tee shirt collections. Maine Coon Cats. Projects around his house. His huge pond and waterfall in the back yard. And on and on. And last, but certainly the most significant after Fritz retired, was a long time love affair with Jamaica where he and my sister spent Februaries at Our Past Times in Negril. Their love of Jamaica and that culture live all over their home. Fritz has many friends there, and the family at Our Past Times permanently carved his name "Reserved - Fritz" in his favorite table there in memory. This past February he celebrated his upcoming birthday there and I designed this tee shirt for him following his specific instructions (another example of Fritz roping one in to his passions!)
During the funeral service, I was struck by how difficult it is to try and capture the essence of a person in 15 minutes of memorializing, And I, of course, cannot do it in my blog. I have a lifetime of memories of Fritz and I am very grateful for them. I will miss this special person, this brother, this friend with his incredible attributes as well as his flaws and imperfections.. And when I see a full moon from now on, I will stop, say "moon's up" and think about Fritz who will be shining down on all of us.
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