Peek-a-Boo

Our desk clerk, Carol, had an interesting encounter today. A husband and wife pulled up and the husband came into the motel office to book a room for three nights. During the process, he commented on the fact that he could, of course, swim sans suit? Carol explained that no, our motel is family oriented and she in fact did not know of any place, other than a nude beach in Key West, that allowed nude swimming. She explained that there might be hotels there that allowed nude swimming in their pools, but we didn't know which ones, and since it is Fantasy Fest, the rates would be exorbitant. The potential guest was indignant! He drawled in his good ole boy southern accent (he wasn't even European!) - "you mean my wife can't even go topless?" Carol politely explained no, sorry. The man decided to leave and seek a more liberal establishment. But, not before Carol saw his true nature - peeking out from the hem of the shortest shorts imaginable.

Let It Be

For the past 11 months, since Harry's beloved father passed away, I have lived with the ensuing (maybe that is en-sue-ing) family drama that has unfolded. I feel sometimes as though I could just scream and often, Guinness gets an extra long walk with me half-dragging him home.

I just cannot get it through my head how a family can crumble in one year. All over money, really. I have tried to weigh each sides viewpoints. My father-in-laws accountant put it most succinctly; that Harry's sister, who is the trustee and the source of all of the angst, has done what in her mind is legally right, but has not done what is right for the family. When you shut down and become secretive, you spread the seeds that will grow into suspicion and mistrust. When you fire your cousins who have worked for your father for over 30 years, and you sue your remaining uncle who was your father's lifetime business partner and best friend, and cannot explain your actions, you create a rift as large as the San Andreas Fault. And what happens when that uncle dies suddenly during this past year? The last year of his life is tainted with a family rift that could have never been expected. Harry's father was a lovely man, and the pain that I feel is that he would have been so deeply hurt by the way this year has unfolded. He expected the highest ethics from people, but I think he also believed that ethics without humanity are wasted.

Thank you my sister, Mary Beth, for doing the job of executor for our parents estate for no compensation other than a set of Christmas dishes that we gave you. Even if the estate had been of the magnitude as Harry's father, I believe you would have done the job the same way. How did I get so lucky, to have such loving, sane, ethical, caring siblings??

My Morning Caffeine

I don't really drink coffee but when I go to work, the one thing that will pick me up quickly are the notes that our night staffer, Alex, leaves me on the counter. He calls Harry and I the Count and Countess of the Dell and calls the property Camp Dell Tikinawa. Alex is one of a kind. He is middle aged, nice looking with distinguished-looking greying hair. Before a bout of cancer, he lived in NYC working on sets and costumes in the theater. After his illness, he came to Marathon to care for his mother who was ill, and stayed on. He is an artist, a writer, and self-educated without a formal college degree. He created 25 room number plaques for us and we love his art. He speaks with a slight British affected accent to accompany his love of literature. His favorite childhood author was Jane Austen. He had a British grandmother who exposed him to culture and he grew up in Argentina because his father ran away to that country and married a local woman and brought his family back every year to summer in the Keys. Alex's past was harsh. His father was abusive. He is one of the walking wounded. He cringes if you enter his personal space. He is intelligent and quick but in my opinion, the damaged parts of his soul prevent him from functioning to the best of his abilities. He is wonderful with guests, fastidious about how the rooms look and a terrific host. But, with Alex, there are often more dramas and dilemmas and interpersonal issues than with any other staff member. He has a dark side and a haughty arrogance and a prejudice that he seems to wrestle with in his Catholic conscience.

Even though his moods are unpredictable, one thing I can count on without fail are his notes, cheering me up. I have decided to share a few.

"I will be most of the afternoon at The Marathon Community Health Center (which I call "The People's Clinic"). I am certain it is God's way of punishing me & teaching me humility by making me spend an afternoon in a waiting room engulfed by "those" people. Was ear plugs, large, cheap but tasteful sunglasses, ad double dosage of high blood pressure medication and some passionate Scottish poetry. I think that will be the best way to go. The best way to endure a good sized room swarming with the most frightening specimens of humanity. Of course I must inform the nurse when I check in that my ears will be plugged to block out those heinous sounds, so that when my turn comes they can come and get me. I'm sure I will be easy to find. The only twit in the room with a purse and a book! (Well, let's face it, the only twit in the room). Wouldn't you think???

If I am early enough, I shall stop for a moment for a dash of puppy love. I shall be in terrible need after that dental ordeal. Instead of a new second-hand book, my usual self treat after surviving something hideous, I think I will opt for a package of Ash Medium Brown Hair Color from Just for Men. I feel so utterly decrepit these days. And its on sale at CVS. A touch of youth in a bottle for just $6.95. Like my old friend Rose Silverman used to say to me "Dahlink, you're foolish to walk away from that!"

And another...

"I am also a big softy for any one's suffering. Anyone. Like that woman the other night, the one I let stay at the pool for a while. Her vulgarity made me bristle as she looked like she should have been peddling her papayas somewhere in old Times Square. yet she was in reality a poor frightened older woman in trouble. She had stayed with us in #6 for too many days and had enjoyed herself immensely. I remember she once came to the office at 2 in the morning, her eyes blood shot with beer, reeking of a wet ashtray, her blubbery pear shaped body clad in a teenager's bikini bra and panties. (I am looking for the right support group to help me deal with that vision!!!) She had locked herself out and could she please have a key??? Of course, I just had to ask why she was outside in her underwear in the first place and she told me she sat there in the evenings like that to smoke. After I recovered from this perfectly natural explanation I very gently reminded her that this was a family place and not a flop house and could she at least be dressed when she sat outside to smoke. Poor old thing, she liked me so much that she ran like a child to change and then came back to the office to model and equally vulgar bit of attire but at least it was not lingerie!

Is it just me, or is there charm in these writings. I love them! I start my day with a smile. Thank you Alex for all the delights that you bring to us.

Credit Card Woes

I have had a Chase Visa for years that gives me rewards from Amazon. Last year, I realized that I didn't use my USAA credit card very much because I didn't get rewards so I gave them a call to see if there was a plan that would give me airline miles. USAA was incredibly accommodating and I was able to negotiate a super low interest rate based on my years of loyalty and superb begging techniques. I started using that card for most of my purchases to accumulate miles. The Chase Visa sat as a back up not getting much use, and now it is cut in two and lying at the bottom of the trash can. Chase sent me the "rate-jacking" letter that consumers are complaining about and raised my APR rate to at least 13.24% - up from 9.65%. I have great credit scores and have never been late or missed a payment. The options are to cancel or accept their new terms.

In addition, many credit card companies have as much as doubled the monthly minimum payments due on outstanding balances. This is, of course, because banks are trying to get a jump ahead of consumer protection laws going in to effect in February. Yes, the banks are holding a lot of consumer debt. Yes, the economy sucks. Yes, people are in debt. But, no one seemed to be reigning in the banks when they were filling the mail boxes across America for years with low APR intro offers and giving cards to just about anyone who knew how to fill out an application. Hey, you could get instant credit and cool looking credit cards AND a gift at almost any sporting event in the 90's. I don't think they were doing this because they felt magnanimous and wanted to boost our retail economy for the good of the country.

Obviously I am viewing the banking system with a bit of skepticism considering the mess the banks and mortgage companies have made. It starts in Congress. A quote from Senator Dick Durbin who has been instrumental in leading legislation for consumer protection - "and the banks -- hard to believe in a time when we're facing a banking crisis that many of the banks created -- are still the most powerful lobby on Capitol Hill. And they frankly own the place." Doesn't anyone in government have any brains when it comes to the economy? Doesn't anyone get cause and effect? And why do you apply for a credit card and get accepted based on the terms at the time of the initial contract and then the terms can change. It seems like "bait and switch" to me. Geez, can our mortgage rates double too?

Ouch!

I had a couple ride up on their bikes today looking for a room. No problem, they liked what they saw and we checked them in. When I asked about how they got here, I learned that they rode here from Montreal, Quebec. 37 days. One day to go to reach Key West. Then, they fly home. And, they have done the trip 4 times since 2001! The couple was perhaps late 60's age wise although they might have been in their 30's and aged that much on the way! There were pretty weather-beaten. He told me he just loves to ride his bike. All I could think of was how much my tush hurts after riding 20 minutes on my beach bike around the neighborhood! I think I will take my glass of wine and recline on the couch and watch TV and think about it.

Full Moon Madness?

When I really do think I have seen it all in the motel business, my naivete gets kicked up a notch. We keep a trash can size container full of clean rags in our laundry room to be used for cleaning and we are especially proud of our quality of linens. When a towel or bath mat doesn't meet my standards, they are put into the bin for cleaning. The linens must be good, because theft is a constant problem.

Today, our housekeeper Nadia pulled out her supply of rags to use and under a layer on top, found a gift. Not a pleasant one. Someone had apparently sat on the trash can and taken a big, fat old - how do I put it nicely - crap! And, I think I know who did it! The guests in the room next to the laundry room were, to put it kindly, a bit odd. The man was living on a boat and picked up the woman who hangs out at the city marina (according to him) and he said that he thought she was homeless. So, he brought her for a night of TV and air-conditioning (sure) just to be kind. Other than being very talkative, he seemed clean enough and had money to pay for the room. Of course as the day unfolded, he must have come to the office 50 times, and got goofier and goofier and probably higher and higher. He decided to stay another night but his credit card wouldn't work and he didn't have enough cash, yet he called for cabs to go to the store which was a short walk away, and called me at the front desk to order him a pizza (no I do not make food orders, sir). And, when I walked numerous times to the laundry room, his "friend" was sitting outside in nothing but her towel. She was actually a sweet woman, who had no teeth and according to her, no sight in one eye from a motorcycle accident, but she had obviously been a real beauty at one time who had lived a bit of a "hard" life. She asked me if she was "dressed" OK to sit outside and have a cigarette. I just said, if we get any complaints, I will let you know. She looked better in one of my nice towels than lots of the people I see in bathing suits at our pool!

Anyway, the next day when they were scheduled to check-out, someone found their key on the nearby Wendy's driveway and their room screen was pushed out of the bathroom but their personal items were left in the room. It was a mystery. We bagged the personal effects, cleaned and locked the room and they have not yet come to pick up their possessions. As for the surprise in the laundry bin, my suspicion is that they came back to use the room it was locked. The laundry room is open during the day although personnel are in and out.

Whether the present was a hostile gift or just the result of nature calling, I guess I will never know. What I do know, is that there is no limit to the kookiness of the human being and that there is always something new to tell about in my blog.

What I Think is Funny

Tonight I attended a Chamber of Commerce event - a "Business Showcase" - now that I am corporate I like to see what is going on in the world of commerce. HA! I really like the food and unlimited wine for $10. But, I did win a snorkel trip for two which I am saving for the next guests we have, so "COME ON DOWN"! But my real chuckle came as we were leaving when we walked out with "Capt. Ken" and he was bragging that all he ate was a 1/2 of a cookie. I asked why, considering there was a seafood buffet, and he said, "because I recently lost 52#." Since he was obviously proud, I asked "wow, how did you do that" and his wife quickly piped up "he got sick." She and I really enjoyed that laugh!