Odio música de Mariachi

Across the canal in our backyard, and one house over, there seems to be a PARTY and they have their own Mariachi Band and the volume of the music is on, not high, but highest volume. I cannot hear myself think. Could it be ANY other type of music, please? Even Rap would be better. I don't mind a little novelty at a Mexican restaurant but hours of it? I guess I have no choice but to go and make myself a Margarita...

Sam's Tonsils, or Lack Of

Yesterday Sam had his tonsils out. He has had recurring bouts of strep and tonsilitis and he had probably the nastiest looking pair of tonsils I have ever seen!! Today, with the help of great pain medication, he is doing OK, although I haven't seen a smile since he came out of surgery. The Dr. was quite blunt that tonsillectomies are tough on adults. I am also doing a bit too much "hovering" so am trying to leave him alone and let him sleep. I am sure he loves me knocking on his door every half hour asking if he wants something!

I was amazed, though, at the changes in the hospital since I worked in one. Sam's hospital gown had air vents where a hose was place to pump warm air around his body. The nurse said that studies show that a person going to and from surgery, who is warm, heals faster afterwards. And they gave him Versed right before, and that is the most wonderful drug in the world. You feel relaxed and forget most of what is happening. If you have ever had a colonoscopy, you know what I mean when I say the drug is awesome!!

I couldn't help thinking that we have a long way to go in the science of medicine. Anasthesia is only about 160 years old. And that was the ether/chloroform type. And, the discovery of penicillan was 80 years ago. What could it have been like to be sick a hundred years ago?? But the discovery I am really waiting for is the cure for stomach flu!!

Grumpy me

For some reason, the past couple days, I have been oh-so-irritable! I think it has to do with getting a claim on our insurance by the out-of-shape woman who slipped in the motel who is now claiming that she hurt her back even though her husband let it slip to me that she had back surgery a couple years ago and her original complaint was that she pulled a hamstring muscle. And, the fact that my friend Barb in Cincinnati had her house robbed in the middle of the day and they took all her heirloom jewelry that belonged to her mother and had such sentimental meaning. And, that someone smoked up one of our motel rooms (again) last night and "didn't know" that we were non-smoking despite the 8x10 red sign on the front desk and the glaring words on the registration form to that effect right below the signature line and the fact that we tell each and every person that stays with us. And, that I have lost all of my older digital photos that were on a portable hard drive that someone stole out of my suitcase when I was on a layover in Atlanta (along with my camera). Hello!!! What happened to personal responsibility and if you want something, earn it yourself and don't take mine. And, thanks for letting me rant - I feel better!

Technowarp

I love the word "blog." It sort of falls out of your mouth, like my granddaughter, Ruby, tasting strained peas for the first time. I tried to find the origin of the word. It is shortened from Web log. Someone online described it as "roughly onomatopoeic of vomiting" - so I guess my visual made sense.

I was talking to my sister, Suzanne, about blogging and how some people seemed resistant to the idea when I told them I was starting one. I shared with her that Sam had shown me his Facebook page filled with wonderful photos and activities of he and his friends. We discussed that Barack Obama was on Facebook. And I told her that I felt that as people get older, they are less creative and carefree and playful and that we needed to stay lighthearted. Suzanne and I vowed to sign up for Facebook that day (and she actually had signed up her husband the day before so she was ahead of the game plan)!

I was WRONG!!!! I signed up for Facebook and found out lots of people I know were already on and I was the one that was the old fogey. What a great interconnection this is. To link people who know each other, or know someone you know and you have the ability to decide if you want them to see your pages or not, and they have the same power. It is genius! It respects privacy while allowing you to connect to people from your past or present and stay abreast of their activities - whether mundane - like "Carolyn is going to the store" or profound - like "what do you think of Chaos Theory."

So, to all of my "friends" who have not accepted my invitation, get off your butts and sign up and have some fun. And, yes, men are on Facebook, and no, you don't have to put your photo if you think you don't look good, and no, stalkers will not find you, and yes, you will have some FUN!

The Nurse Shark

We have a canal behind our house, that leads to the Atlantic Ocean. Offshore is the only living coral reef in the Continental US. Yesterday, I was looking in the canal, and we had several tropical fish nibbling away at the treasures that grow on the dock. There was a school of brightly colored parrot fish with their comical blue lips, and a lone triggerfish, and under the boat, on the canal bottom, I saw a four foot nurse shark.

About 20 years ago, Harry built a 300 gallon salt water aquarium. He had a tropical fish supplier who lived in the Keys named Henry Federan. We would place an order with Henry, and when it was filled, he would let us know and we would wait at the Cleveland airport cargo terminal to pick it up. The fish would be shipped in plastic bags inside Styrofoam coolers. When the shipment came, it was like Christmas morning as a kid. We didn't know what to expect when we opened the shipment, because we never got what we ordered, just what Henry caught for us. There could be puffer fish, banded shrimp, sea anemones, fabulous neon gobies. But one time, there was a baby nurse shark.

Matt was ecstatic. He was a shark aficionado since age 4. He knew every shark in the sea, every statistic, every detail and here was one in his house to call his own. That shark was an equal opportunity feeder. He ate the $5 fish right along with the $20 fish. Soon, the tank was empty except for him. And, he grew, and he grew. Matt would hand feed him frozen smelt - standing on a ladder to reach the top of the tank, and that shark would snatch the fish dangling from Matt's fingertips. It was harrowing to watch!

But, the shark outgrew the tank eventually, and since he ate so much, he pooped as much. One day, the tank started to get fouled and we were in a panic. The shark looked like it was dying. So Matt created a temporary saltwater home in the bathtub with an aerator while the tank could be cleaned. Once the tank was ready, Matt hand revived that shark. It was man to shark resuscitation - Matt standing on the ladder and moving the shark back and forth to get oxygen flowing through the gills. Matt was probably only 12 years old, and must have done this for an hour. And, sure enough, the shark perked up! To this day, Matt does the same thing when he catches a prize game fish. He makes sure it is revived enough to swim away and outrun a predator.

We decided then that we had to find a home for the shark. Nigel Diggins, an Aussie at a local pet store that we frequented, bought him from us for $15.00. Today, you cannot get a nurse shark for your aquarium. I wonder what happened to our pet. We did learn that Henry Federan, our rogue fish supplier, still works down here in the Keys and we met someone who knows him and is going to introduce us to him. I will have to repeat the shark story to him...

Is it ADHD or Just Plain Weird?

My brother, Tom, nicknamed my husband Harry the "H-bomb". For those of you who know him well, it is a pretty darn accurate description! What I do know, is that his mind just doesn't work like most people. I think he has ADHD. I used to not believe in that diagnosis - it was too "hip" for me and seemed like a nice excuse for teachers who couldn't manage their classrooms - until my son Sam was born. Then, I fought against the diagnosis, but finally, I surrender to it. Sam, and Harry and probably my stepson Tom, all have ADHD in some variation.

With Harry, conversations segue from point A to C and others are still at B. His impulsivity could cause one to cringe, like when he butts into strangers conversations or offers diners at other tables in restaurant bites of his dinner, or wakes you from a sound sleep to ask if you are awake. Boundaries are a bit blurred. He can be intrusive. He can lack sensitivity to what is happening around him - like starting the boat engines at 4AM to see if they are running smoothly. Or hollering my name in public as though he were Marlin Brand calling "STELLA!" in A Streetcar Named Desire.

Oh well. Life is never, ever dull. While I sit there being all self contained, appropriate with all of my WASP boundaries, think how much I have missed! Without Harry and his ADHD, the last 25 years would have been a lot more peaceful, but I would have missed so much.

Sean Kennedy

Sean Kennedy was 20 years old when he was murdered because he is gay. Because the crime happened in South Carolina and there are no protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people, his murderer was allowed to plea bargain and if he receives parole in February, will have spent 8 months in jail for the crime.

Please take a look at these links- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_W._Kennedy and http://www.seanslastwish.org/ and read how this child was killed. It turned my stomach. Sam is the same age as Sean was.

PFLAG has asked for support against hate crimes by imploring that the parole board does not allow parole for the perpetrator of this crime. Letters should be addressed to the Department of Probation and Parole Services, 2221 Devine St., Suite 600, P.O. Box 50666, Columbia SC 29250. Include the murderer, Stephen Andrew Moller's name and number SCDC ID#00328891 in the letter.

It won't change the fact that Sean is gone. And it won't mean that Stephen Moller will be rehabilitated by sitting in jail for a little longer. But it may tell the community that hate crimes are not to be tolerated.

Prejudice

We have guests at the motel - a couple in their 70's. The other day I met the husband at the ice machine where he was filling a little cooler, and he was so out of breath he scared me and I told him to sit down and I would do it. He needed it for his insulin. Right there I had the ugly beast of prejudice come out when I thought to myself " he doesn't look like he takes care of himself - he is so out of shape."

Then, yesterday, his wife got out of the shower to get something she forgot and slipped and asked the front desk to call the ambulance. She came back in the afternoon from the ER and our manager stopped in to see how she was and she said she pulled a muscle. Lacey, our manager, extended our concerns and asked if we could do anything and we erased their room charges for them.

Today the story changed. When I got to the motel, I was greeted with the news that the guest wanted ambulance transportation to Sarasota, Fl because she couldn't sit in a car. Uh-oh. First I called our insurance agent. The word was that if the guest was released from the hospital, the insurance wouldn't do anything regarding transportation. I talked to the guest and explained and offered two more nights stay so that she could rest and recuperate and promised we would help her in any way to make her comfortable.

I saw a walker in the room and asked her if she was given it at the hospital - no, she brought it with her - it was in her trunk. I am thinking "if she needed a walker, that isn't a good sign and she must be in bad shape also." She wanted to talk to our insurance agent - I lent her my cell phone (although she had her own) and she told him (when I was out of the room) that there was a loose tile (not true), we did not inquire about her when she came home from hospital (not true) and that she hated to have to consult with a lawyer (go ahead) and that she wanted to go home and couldn't do it unless she were lying down.

Well, after much negotiation, they agreed to stay for a couple more nights on us, and we would help them to another room (we had the one they were in reserved for tonight). My manager and I had to pack their belongings and helped her to the room next door. The husband sat like a lump while we organized all of their belonging and packed their bags. I suggested she take the pain medication the hospital gave her and she said she didn't want to take any medications. Again, my ugly thought processes said to me "well of course you cannot ride in a car if you don't take your pain medication."

Next, she peed in the wastebasket and Lacey, our manager had to empty it while her husband sat there. Somehow she managed all night to get the bathroom, but not on our watch. Thanks goodness I wasn't there because my patience might not have lasted that long. Lacey is a saint.

And, then, she called the ambulance again and at this time she is back in the hospital ER and I suppose trying to negotiate getting our insurance to cover cost of transport home which is 8 hours away. I cannot get a hold of social services so the story isn't over.

OK, now I know she did fall down. And I feel bad about that, although not that she lied about the loose tiles and that I had to take digital photos to cover our butts. And it did happen in our motel. And most likely, we will pay her medical costs, and that is why we have insurance,and that would be the fair thing to do, and we have done it before. But what troubled me most was how I felt. I felt used! I had no sympathy! I felt like I was being manipulated!

I have been obsessing over the day. What creates feelings of empathy or sympathy? I think it is the belief that someone has suffered, and did not deserve the cause of the suffering. I wish I could be openly understanding, and compassionate without the attachment of judgement, but I admit, I am flawed and I cannot.

Maybe this is the start of a New Year's Resolution. To fight against my own prejudices.

Brazilian Beauties

Harry and I have 10 Brazilian students living in a rental house that we own (and cannot sell due to the horrible real estate market). They come to the US through a job program called Alliance Abroad and stay for four months and work at a local grocery store. We had an ad in the local paper for a renter and this organization found us. This is our second group - the first were from Turkey and India. We supervise a second group in Marathon near the motel, but we do not own the house they live in and it is a dump! We are constantly at battle with this organization to treat these kids better. The group in Marathon were here for a week before we knew it and when Harry went to meet them, they said "now we feel safe." (Guess they could say that, not knowing the H-bomb yet)! We have become experts at shopping the local Salvation Army (fondly known as Sal's) and the flea market to furnish the places and get used bikes. This group is particularly fun and delightful. The Cuban family next door had all 10 over on Christmas to join their family party. Within a few weeks, they are totally independent and even working second jobs when they can to buy all the fun electronics, clothes, etc. that are so expensive in their native countries. Talk about a group of gorgeous kids!!

Sailfishing is Not For Sissies

I spent the last three days on the water sailfishing. I have more bruises, scrapes, cuts and even managed to get a hook stuck in my ankle (which Matt was able to retrieve via a wonderful technique that avoids having to push the barb back out through and clipping it off - ouch!). It was totally worth it! We had a blast.

Matt's boss gave staff the Friday after New's Years off so Megan encouraged Matt to come down to the Keys to fish and we hustled to find him a flight. The weather cooperated and we had some luck.

Matt caught a beauty on day one and the fight lasted for 45 minutes. He was caught on light tackle and 15# test line. I managed to drive the boat and not lose the fish although there were some tense moments and the usual yelling that we do when we have a fish on. The second day we went out with another friend and hooked one but I lost it. We did get a king fish in the boat for Matt's friend Creighton to smoke. Day three brought a double hook up and finally I managed to catch and release another big fish. We estimated the weight to be around #100 (don't forget, there may be a bit of exagerration, but not a lot). I was tired after the fight but boy, does the adrenaline kick in!!! Add lots of whooping and hollering every time the fish leaps and tailwalks and it is one excited experience. I must have made a lot of noise because after the battle and the fish was released, we were surrounded by boats trying to get in on our luck. Matt is a great fishing buddy and it was just a great time all around.