Prejudice

We have guests at the motel - a couple in their 70's. The other day I met the husband at the ice machine where he was filling a little cooler, and he was so out of breath he scared me and I told him to sit down and I would do it. He needed it for his insulin. Right there I had the ugly beast of prejudice come out when I thought to myself " he doesn't look like he takes care of himself - he is so out of shape."

Then, yesterday, his wife got out of the shower to get something she forgot and slipped and asked the front desk to call the ambulance. She came back in the afternoon from the ER and our manager stopped in to see how she was and she said she pulled a muscle. Lacey, our manager, extended our concerns and asked if we could do anything and we erased their room charges for them.

Today the story changed. When I got to the motel, I was greeted with the news that the guest wanted ambulance transportation to Sarasota, Fl because she couldn't sit in a car. Uh-oh. First I called our insurance agent. The word was that if the guest was released from the hospital, the insurance wouldn't do anything regarding transportation. I talked to the guest and explained and offered two more nights stay so that she could rest and recuperate and promised we would help her in any way to make her comfortable.

I saw a walker in the room and asked her if she was given it at the hospital - no, she brought it with her - it was in her trunk. I am thinking "if she needed a walker, that isn't a good sign and she must be in bad shape also." She wanted to talk to our insurance agent - I lent her my cell phone (although she had her own) and she told him (when I was out of the room) that there was a loose tile (not true), we did not inquire about her when she came home from hospital (not true) and that she hated to have to consult with a lawyer (go ahead) and that she wanted to go home and couldn't do it unless she were lying down.

Well, after much negotiation, they agreed to stay for a couple more nights on us, and we would help them to another room (we had the one they were in reserved for tonight). My manager and I had to pack their belongings and helped her to the room next door. The husband sat like a lump while we organized all of their belonging and packed their bags. I suggested she take the pain medication the hospital gave her and she said she didn't want to take any medications. Again, my ugly thought processes said to me "well of course you cannot ride in a car if you don't take your pain medication."

Next, she peed in the wastebasket and Lacey, our manager had to empty it while her husband sat there. Somehow she managed all night to get the bathroom, but not on our watch. Thanks goodness I wasn't there because my patience might not have lasted that long. Lacey is a saint.

And, then, she called the ambulance again and at this time she is back in the hospital ER and I suppose trying to negotiate getting our insurance to cover cost of transport home which is 8 hours away. I cannot get a hold of social services so the story isn't over.

OK, now I know she did fall down. And I feel bad about that, although not that she lied about the loose tiles and that I had to take digital photos to cover our butts. And it did happen in our motel. And most likely, we will pay her medical costs, and that is why we have insurance,and that would be the fair thing to do, and we have done it before. But what troubled me most was how I felt. I felt used! I had no sympathy! I felt like I was being manipulated!

I have been obsessing over the day. What creates feelings of empathy or sympathy? I think it is the belief that someone has suffered, and did not deserve the cause of the suffering. I wish I could be openly understanding, and compassionate without the attachment of judgement, but I admit, I am flawed and I cannot.

Maybe this is the start of a New Year's Resolution. To fight against my own prejudices.