Motel Meshugass

I may be the most naive person ever. We had a father, son and the son's friend check in last week. The were booked for two weeks, which is a long stay. When they arrived, they were on foot, having taken a bus from Atlanta, Ga. They walked in with guitars, and the son and his friend looked like Patti Smith's twins (triplets?), with dyed black hair, the requisite tatoos - but come to think of it, no visible piercings! The father was a mess. He seemed totally stoned, and told Harry he was dying. He had pockets full of fifties and as he tried to pay the bill in cash, he was dropping money and we had to have him go in the back office with his son to sort out his money. He told Harry he had gotten some sort of "settlement" but had blown through most of it - but wanted to see family in Marathon that he hadn't seen in 10 years. He forked over more than $2600 in cash for the room and had lots more in his pockets.

We were concerned that he was going to die at the Sea Dell. The people he was visiting locally called and gave us their contact # and we promised to keep an eye on him.

Next thing I know, I am getting calls from staff that they are trashing the room. Ripped bedding, mattresses flipped over (what are they hiding??) and towels that were ruined - I don't want to go into those details. They were pigs! Beer spilled all over the floor. Pizza grease everywhere. We pulled out our old bedspreads and old towels just for these guys. But, today was the final straw. After I reviewed our no smoking policies when they checked in and got sincere promises that of course NO ONE would smoke inside, the housekeepers found piles of cigarette ashes and butts and the room reeked. Ironically, the father came to tell me his boy is a baby and wants to go home so they are heading out on the bus today. Hooray. Only I had to be the hammer and tell him that there were going to be some serious room recovery charges.

Smoking in the rooms is the biggest problem we have with guests. No matter how explicit you are regarding the policies, and have huge signs all over the office and even have guests sign their reservation forms that state we charge a $250 recovery fee for smoking - every now and then people smoke (or sneak their pets in the rooms and tell you the dog slept in the car all night even though you see it leave the room - or that no, they didn't smoke even though the paper cup full of water and butts is sitting on the windowsill).

The number two problem is theft. People most frequently steal the towels, air conditioner remotes (??), blankets and even pillows! Once, they left their pillows and took ours, like we wouldn't notice the flat, brown stained disgustingly dirty replacement.

And, number three, is lying. Like saying there are two in party and 12 people pour out of the van. We have at times been in awe of the number of people that can sleep on one queen sized bed. I think we had a family of 5 plus grandma once.

But, on the brighter side, most people are wonderful, honest, thoughtful and appreciative. Some people leave the room looking like they never touched it! I had one woman stay with her husband and two children and she cleaned the room before she left - I asked her if she was looking for work. Had she been able to, I think she would have washed the linens before she left...