Random Thoughts

I went to get a pedicure today and was greeted by pictures of "Trunk", the Vietnamese young man I go to, all over the counter with a Buddhist altar around them. My heart sank. I learned that he had been killed several weeks ago in a motorcycle accident.

Trunk was such a delightful 21 year old. He was from Chicago and his family were friends with the owners who opened the shop in Key Largo so he came down to work while figuring out his life and future. He was trying to buy a car and we discussed it at length the last time I saw him, a couple weeks before his death. The irony: he had no credit and couldn't get a loan even though his income was good. And, he died using his only form of transportation available, his bike. That same day he was also quite shook up because one of his friends had died from a car accident. He had gone to say his goodbyes the day before and they had removed life support the morning of my visit. I was so impressed by his story of his difficulty getting credit, that I had related the story to Harry. I really liked this kid, and am very sad at the tragic end to his life.

It is hard work to keep from being dragged under by sadness and tragedy into depression. I think of a bobber floating on the surface of the water, happily riding the swells, sunlight glimmering on it, but then suddenly pulled underwater into the dark by some unseen fish and struggling to reach up to the light again.

Some heartaches never leave. My cousin's daughter Sarah who died at age 17, my son Matt's dad who died when Matt was only 21, my college roommates Marilyn and Peg, childhood friends Gary Bevan and Julie Fox, my numerous miscarriages - these were all untimely deaths that left huge gashes in my heart. Scars did form, but they throb in an ache at times when some memory or event refreshes the hurt.

Al Green said it all in his song "Lean on Me:"

Some times in our lives,
we all have pain,
we all have sorrow.
But, if we are wise,
we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when your not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on.
For, it won't be long, 'till I'm gonna need
somebody to lean on.